You call it lazy; Jack calls it life efficiency.
We’re talking about his lifelong dedication to minimizing output. That means don’t get up when someone else can get it for you, don’t make plans unless a court order requires it, and stay away from competitive sports altogether.
That worked for most of Jack’s life – until Takeru Kobayashi upended the world of competitive eating with 50 hot dogs downed in the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest in 2001.
That’s when Jack added an asterisk to his life mantra: Stay away from competitive sports altogether, except when massive amounts of eating is involved.
Hot dogs? Check. Pies? Yawn. Burgers, chicken wings, pizzas? Been there, done that.
But watermelon? Now THAT’s a food in which Jack would love to out-eat you.
Good news, Jackhead: You now have a chance to try your skills at competitive watermelon eating.
It’s going down this Saturday, September 2nd, at the Ravalli County Fair, and while Jack was ruled ineligible for performance enhancing drugs – the contest is wide-open for your participation.
This year’s winner will walk home with the following prizes:
That doesn’t even include all the watermelon you can eat PLUS bragging rights.
So if you’re at least 21 years old and take eating as seriously as Jack, this is the contest for you. Contest takes place at 4 pm – again, that’s at the Ravalli County Fair in Hamilton this Saturday, September 2nd.
Good luck, and thanks for listening to Jack! And if you read this far, your reward is this excellent primer on how to prepare for – and win – a competitive eating contest.